Hold The Mayo

This week Marie goes car shopping at the grifters, Jay looses his mind about sandwich shops, drinks fart water, and Marie has to deal with a "new restaurant teen". Marie bestows the position of "Prince of Meats" to Jay, we find out what a shingle teen is, and Jays word salad is transferred. Jay calls out ignorant jerks from Boston, Dorris flies the coop to Florida, we discuss visiting family vs vacations, and we agree that you should always improv life

Direct download: HTM_EP_187.mp3
Category:Comedy, general, music, sports -- posted at: 5:00am EST

This week Marie gets rear ended on the highway, Jay recants his drive from the Hold The Mayo Podcast Studios to Florida, a ton of roadkill is observed, and we invent a solution to roadkill called "Wildlife Management Specialists". We also complain about old people trying to use iPhones, what happens to people who live in gated communities, and Jay gives a less than stellar review of his favorite bands newest album.

Direct download: HTM_EP_186.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:00am EST

This week we talk Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Marie catches up on It's Always Sunny, Jay explains why he doesn't watch tv/films until the hype dies down, and we get way into the subject of people who hoard. Then Jay goes off the rails about all of the animals/people who should die, and why homeless guys always have dogs. Then in a complete turn around Jay talks about cute dad stuff, school lunches, and Marie gets all fired up about coupons.

Direct download: HTM_EP_185.mp3
Category:Comedy, general, music, sports -- posted at: 4:30am EST

This week Jay is very concerned about his recently acknowledged speech impediment, Marie admits to having lovely lady head lumps, and we discuss shaved head hippies. Then we get into why high school kids take pills, the worst band (Dave Matthews), Hawaiian themed bridal showers, and Marie plans out a new idea for a wedding dress rental store. We once again talk about the Ken Burns Vietnam doc on PBS, re-watching old movies, Patrick Swayze's golden skin, and bad plastic surgery.

Direct download: HTM_EP_184.mp3
Category:Comedy, general, music, sports -- posted at: 5:00am EST

This week we get burgled! Marie's Facebook post is stolen and pasted on another persons page, we get fired up about stolen content, and Marie crowns herself the queen of turd mountain. We also chat about Grimace, the Hamburgler, Mayor McCheese, dangerous playgrounds, elementary school recesses, the concrete courtyard, and mini olympians. We also realize that we have brain damage due to mimeograph machine chemicals, we recant tales of school yard fist fights, and we discuss the ultimate grifter "Braco" the gazer.

Direct download: HTM_EP_183.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:00am EST

This week we talk about binge eating, Jay's messed up brain, setting ourselves up for failure and the Taco Bell incident. We also talk about stupid register teens who can't make change, experimenting with our bodies, and we get a brief update on Doris' big move. We then dive face first into horror movies, gore, Troma Entertainment, the Harvey Weinstein scandal, and misplaced  outrage. Then Jay explains why he deleted 80% of his social media followers/friends and how its changed his life.

Direct download: HTM_EP_182.mp3
Category:Comedy, general, music, sports -- posted at: 5:00am EST

This week Marie gets lost in Jay's super rural neighborhood, we find out that the ice cream lady may be transgender, and that killing animals with your car is a lot more common than one might assume. Jay talks about his road trip to Rhode Island for work and the disgusting lunch he and his coworker stomached. Then we find out just how much of a pizza glutton Marie is,  the temperature drops in New England, radio jingles are blurted out, and Jay admits to why he was hesitant to write film reviews for The After Movie Diner website. Then the train goes way off of the rails when Ken Burns' Vietnam documentary is brought up.

Direct download: HTM_EP_181.mp3
Category:Comedy, general, music, sports -- posted at: 5:00am EST

This week Marie draws like a 1st grader, we hear about recent news alerts, Korean food, civil war gangs and the best jobs to have within, nuclear war, and we realize Trump's hair looks like side of the machine cotton candy. There is also some comb over talk, a puking audience member, we share vomit stories, low fans and hot weather. Then Marie helps Doris clean out her house, Jay explains what a shoe box full of spices are, someone's moving to Florida, someone's driving in Rhode Island, and we're all angry about change.

Direct download: HTM_180.mp3
Category:Comedy, general, music, sports -- posted at: 5:00am EST

This week we chat about a very unaware drugged up Elvis, Marie's weekend getaway to Camp Crystal Lake, and the kind of people who purchase mesh bikini's at WalMart. We also discuss our fast food lunch choices, new intentionally confusing menus, and Marie has a giggle fit at what can only be described as the worst dad joke in the history of the world. We also dive face first into celeb meltdowns, Intervention (and why we don't watch it), shout outs, shout ats, summer sausage, and Jay looses his mind about treating dogs like people.

Music By: Story Of The Year, The Big Bopper, Ritchie Vallens, Yellowcard


Direct download: HTM_EP_179.mp3
Category:Comedy, general, music, sports -- posted at: 5:00am EST

This week we drop our new updated logo, intro, and fart bombs. We create "Grand Bran" cereal, trash summer sausage, and admit to being grey trash people. Then Jay ponders what would happen if he took children's medicine, why people can't wear white pants, he talks road rage, and bodily functions. Marie attempts to explain periods, the "sex talk" in health class, and weird pancake shapes. We then transition to 90s ballads, Michael Bolton's Ramon Noodle hair, Billy Ray Cyrus's wife, and Brett Michael's playing at a campground to racoon ladies. Actors in wheelchairs are also featured.


Music By: Squeeze , Nelson, Bon Jovi, Sponge, Zorznajiour

Direct download: HTM_EP_178.mp3
Category:Comedy, general, music, sports -- posted at: 5:00am EST